Easing Anxiety During Pregnancy
As someone who was born with anxiety (probably), I was worried about how pregnancy would affect my ability to cope. Going into my first pregnancy in 2018, I researched the correlation between generalized anxiety and prenatal and postpartum anxiety, prepared for the worst. To my surprise, my anxiety got a lot better during my pregnancy with my daughter and the ease continued into my postpartum experience. When I became pregnant with my son in 2021, I expected the same thing, only to be met with completely different circumstances.
I don’t know if it was the boy hormones, the depletion from breastfeeding my toddler, the covid pandemic looming over my head, or the chemical pregnancy I endured just one cycle before conceiving; but my anxiety started pounding down on me moments after peeing on the stick. My heightened fear spiraled me into a dark cloud, a place I now recognize as prenatal depression. I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten until it lifted almost immediately after my birth, and I realized I felt hungry again for the first time in months. I now look back on memories during my second pregnancy as being veiled by this dark, unlifting cloud; blurring my moments with my daughter and minimizing my recollection.
While I don’t want to pretend there was an answer to how I felt, there was a lot of resources I utilized throughout the pregnancy to trudge through it, the best I could, and still be a semi-present parent for my daughter. There are other coping measures I have learned in retrospect, and had doula clients utilize, that I wish I had during that time in my life.
6 ways to cope with anxiety during pregnancy (and postpartum):
Meditation
As we have already established, I am a generally anxious person outside of pregnancy, and because of that I have a very hard time letting my mind wander or sitting still. While it can be difficult to quiet your thoughts and even allow for a serene moment to confront some of the things you are fearful of, I have since found it really affective in helping move past the anxious moment. The more I distract myself, the more my brain tries to process unsuccessfully, leading to an overload of information and more anxiety. While there is guided meditation methods, I also find it helpful to do things like drive without the radio on, take walks without headphones in… purposeful time in my day where my mind can have time and space to process thoughts and feelings. As someone who doesn’t enjoy sitting or lying still for long periods of time, these methods of “meditation” have been more effective for me.
Step back from Social Media and the News
Speaking of too much information, the amount of potentially anxiety inducing information we can now find at our fingertips through a simple scroll is off the charts compared to previous generations. You can be scrolling TikTok and go from an innocent cat video to a scary story of birth trauma in an instant. While there are many influencers providing great, evidence-based information on social media (hey, I’m one of them!) about pregnancy and birth, there is plenty of false information meant to fear-monger, as well as stories of rare complications that, while I love bringing attention to them as a birth professional, were not meant to hit the ears of people who are currently pregnant. As a creator on social media, I often tell my clients that it is the sensationalized stories that are showing up on your For You Page because no one is interested in the simple and uncomplicated birth stories. If you need to take time to unsubscribe, unfollow, and stop scrolling; please do. There are so many other resources, like local and online childbirth education classes (If you live in Kansas City, join ours!), books, and podcasts that can keep you informed and educated without the click-bait.
Find trusted Care Providers
One of the most empowering things you can do for yourself during pregnancy and postpartum is have trusted professionals you can look to for advice and confidently trust their recommendations. Pick your Midwife, OBGYN, Doula, and Pediatrician wisely; building a relationship of trust so you don’t feel like you have to constantly be turning to online information to piece together your own care. While I think it’s always within your right to seek a second opinion if you aren’t sure about someone’s advice, having people you can go to first with questions and concerns can help avoid the anxious-midnight Google.
Tell Your Loved Ones You are Struggling
I still remember when I returned home from the hospital with my second born and my mom, almost with tears in her eyes, said “You’re back.” She realized immediately that the light was back in my eyes and I was feeling more like myself. During the pregnancy, I was honest with my husband and parents about how I was feeling and they were able to step in and help as much as they could with taking care of my daughter, cooking meals, and helping around the house. I had a few trusted friends who also knew and checked in with my occasionally, taking me out or just sending a sweet text. Personally, I hate being vulnerable, and in the moment all I wanted to do was keep everything bottled up and just get through it; but now, I recognize that if I didn’t have the help of those around me I would have put myself in a much darker place, maybe even destroying those same relationships in the process.
Take Care of Yourself (however you can)
While “eating right and exercise” feel like horrible points to make to someone deep in an anxious or depressive episode, I did realize the more I got fresh air, the better my nutrition was, and the more I was able to get off the couch, the better I felt. It’s also important to realize that sometimes taking care of yourself is eating taco bell because it’s the only thing you can get down, sitting on the back porch and letting the sun hit your face instead of a walk, or taking a shower just to crawl back into your pajamas. Whatever your next step is, take it, no matter how little.
Talk to Your Doctor or Midwife about Medication
Going into my third trimester, I ended up getting on a low dose of pregnancy-safe anxiety medication; and while it definitely didn’t take away the issue, it did help me manage to push through until I gave birth. Medication brought me back up to a functioning level, keeping me more active and able to implement the other coping mechanisms I mentioned above. While the ultimate relief was birth, it helped me get there. As both a doula and a mom, I was nervous about the side effects of medication during pregnancy. My midwife assured me that there were many medications that had been long-used and proven safe for pregnancy. She also said something that ultimately helped me make my decision, that untreated anxiety in pregnancy is not risk-free for your growing baby. Untreated anxiety during pregnancy can lead to high blood pressure, preeclampsia, increased risk for postpartum mood disorders, pre-term birth, and a low-birth-weight baby. Medication versus no-medication is not risk versus no-risk, and it’s up to you to determine what is the best path for you and your baby with a trusted medical care provider.
I went into labor a few hours before my due date, and in a whirlwind one-and-a-half-hour birth, my beautiful, almost 10lb, baby boy was born. His birth was the most empowering and redemptive experience of my life, not only because of the birth itself, but because it lifted the hold prenatal anxiety and depression had on my life. I am so lucky that my story with a severe mental health episode ends there, and I’ve been able to leave the experience in the past (I weaned off the anxiety medication by my 6-week postpartum visit). While I wish I never had to walk through it, it has made me more empathetic to my clients and friends who have struggled with their mental health. I hope this blog brings you some ideas of how to cope if you are walking through a period of anxiety, whether it being during pregnancy, postpartum, or beyond. And no matter what, please find a trusted professional you can speak to about your struggles who can give you personalized support.
Happy Birthing.
